You all remember the dancing inmates from few years ago? Well, they’ve made a tribute video to their favorite guy.
Here is the long awaited La Marseillaise update:
La Marseillaise
Sirius’s Light Materials a.k.a. Sirius Gets Sassy
A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long. Midterms are stupid and time consuming. It is harder than it seems to study everything from French to fascism, tables to Tudors, and Catch-22 to calculus all in a week. But we got through it, the midyear reports will be sent shortly, and we can enjoy a little peace before April 1st comes around and college admissions decisions take over our lives. So until then, enjoy! And please review, we love it when people review.
Oh nuit vient apporter à la terre, le calme enchantement de ton mystère
“Honestly, Ronald, must you always be thinking about food?” Hermione was still trying to find an opening to the chest and she was not looking for a conversation about how it resembled Ron’s favorite cereal.
“Gosh darn it, Hermione, is it at all possible for you to have faith in anyone but yourself?” said Harry. “I think Ron’s right. Didn’t Sirius’s letter mention something about his cousin moving to Ireland? I think this might be a clue. Good job, Ron.” Ron looked flabbergasted that he actually said something intelligent for once. But this meant that he probably wouldn’t be saying anything for the rest of the day. His brain needed a rest.
“You’re right,” said Hermione. “I’m sorry, Ron, for not believing you. I think you may be on to something with this Ireland idea.” Wow, even Hermione thought he had said something smart! This was all too much for Ron to handle, and he fainted onto the floor. “Now, Harry,” Hermione continued, “I think there’s a secret opening for this chest. Let’s try pressing all the gems and seeing if one of them makes it pop open.” They began to poke at each individual jewel, and sure enough, at the push of an emerald, the lid unlatched.
Harry and Hermione looked at each other, and then looked at Ron who was still lying unconscious on the floor. “I guess we should wake him up before we look inside, shouldn’t we?” sighed Hermione. Harry grunted in reluctant agreement. He reached to the table behind him and grabbed a glass of water that had been sitting there since they apparated back in. He splashed it onto Ron’s face. “STEAK!” Ron screamed. “HE STOLE MY STEAK!” Hermione shook her head.
“Wake up, bonehead!” said Harry. “It’s present time.” When Ron realized where he was he wiped the water out of his eyes and joined the other two at the edge of the chest. Slowly, and all at the same time, the trio peered inside the box. They saw a layer of polar bear fur and Hermione reached in to fold open the flaps. Her hands were shaking with excitement, however, when they saw what was truly inside, their faces fell at the anticlimactic result. At the bottom of the fur-lined chest lay three objects and a piece of parchment. Hermione pulled them out and placed them on the floor. Harry examined the objects with his eyes, and determined them to be what looked like scraps of an object, a dagger, and a strange golden instrument decorated with various images.
“This is Sirius’ will,” Hermione said, looking at the piece of parchment. She began reading aloud. “The Last Will and Testament of Sirius Black. This is not the one in which I leave Harry Grimmauld Place, that was my Second to Last Will and Testament. I fooled you, didn’t I? Haha, yes, this is my very last will and testament. Promise.” Hermione looked up, a confused expression on her face.
“What are you stopping for, woman?” said Harry. “Keep reading!”
“To the Daywalking Ginger,” she continued, “I leave my alethiometer in hopes that he will remember me when he uses it.” Hermione picked up the golden instrument and handed it to Ron. “Good luck figuring out how to use it,” she said. Ron took his inheritance, placed it on the floor, and stared dumbly down at it for the rest of the reading.
“To the Smartest and Most Arrogant Witch Who Ever Lived, I leave my Amber Spyglass… er, at least parts of my amber spyglass. I think that’s what it’s supposed to be. I just have these pieces of mirror and shit and I can’t figure out how to put it together, cause you know, I’m just a fugitive who can turn into a dog and is commonly mistaken for a death omen. So I figured that since you’re so effing smart you could get it together by just staring at it and using brain waves or whatever. Have fun!” Hermione took the materials and spread them out on the floor. She had some amber colored plates, a mirror, a magnifying glass, a tube of what looked like oil, and a few pieces of bamboo.
“I don’t understand,” she said.
“Hmph,” Harry grunted. “Well keep reading! I want to know what he left me.”
“To Joe Degeorge,” she read, then stopped. “Oops, sorry. It looks like he crossed that out. To the Chosen One and Savior of the Universe, I leave my Subtle Knife. This is probably the chillest thing I have ever owned. It cuts through everything, and I mean everything. There is a downside, though. Have you ever wondered why I’m missing two fingers on my left hand? No, it wasn’t in a duel with Gandalf like I told you. This knife actually cut them off. And unfortunately for you, the knife won’t work until it mutilates your hand as well. But I encourage you to make up a sweet story to explain your injury like I did. That’s half the fun! And Harry, the knife has one rule: always close at the open. Adios Amigos!“
And with that, Hermione put down the parchment and handed Harry the knife. He held it up to his face and stared at his reflection, which he considered to be pretty damn sexy. I should be a model, he thought. I am really, really ridiculously good looking.
“Oh Harry, dobe careful!” Hermione said, and Harry snapped out of his reverie. “I have a bad feeling about that knife. Please put it down!”
“Put it down? Why should I put it down? It belongs to me now, Hermione. And besides, Sirius wouldn’t have left it to me if he didn’t think it was safe.”
“Harry, that knife cut off two of his fingers! And he said it would do the same to you! This can’t possibly be anything but dangerous. It’s filled with dark magic, I’m sure of it. It probably does a lot more than Sirius ever discovered.”
“Well then it’s up to me to figure those things out, isn’t it? But I have to get it working first…” Harry stood up, ignoring Hermione’s disputes, and walked over to the table where the glass of water had been sitting. He placed his left hand flat on the surface and raised the knife up high with his right. “Well,” he said, “here goes nothing!”
