OH MY LAWD! Just finished watching the first showing of the RHofNJ. It’s playing again, so I decided to make a synopsis.SO MUCH DRAMA!
As a result, it must be said: SPOILER WARNING!!!
So: the previews for this episode was all about the big dinner party Teresa was throwing for everyone; this entire ending dinner party is pretty much obligatory for RH.
Starts out with Teresa showing Dina around her palatial home that Teresa and her family recently built. It’s pretty much enormous. The grandiosity of this home rivals Louis XIV, which isn’t necessarily a good thing, but what ever. Everything is covered in marble, granite, and onyx, which is a bit much. Like, literally, everything is marble or granite, including the floors.
This is when Teresa introduces her idea of having a party, a “house-warming party.” She decided to invite Danielle because Danielle is friends with Jacqueline. Teresa has decided to give “Danielle the benefit of the doubt.”
Next up, Danielle is showing her daughters her modeling portfolio. Danielle calls her modeling pictures “hedonistic,” but all of the actual pictures are blurred out, so we don’t know how scary they are. She says that she stripped, got arrested, and changed her name. And, she wants her daughters to trust her above anyone else.
Jacqueline’s parents come to visit from Las Vegas and offer advice on how to deal with Jacqueline’s misbehaving daughter. Jacqueline’s father was a Colonel and therefore offers a stricter view on the behavior of children. He also mentions that he doesn’t believe in botox or any of that stuff. Jacqueline’s husband Chris ends up giving Ashley the new car.
Dina’s daughter Lexi has an unholy amount of stuffed animals in her room. It’s really weird. I don’t even know how that happens. So, Dina and Lexi clean out all the stuffed animals, and get seven bags of stuffed animals, and they find a drawer of candy. I…don’t even understand.
I love Caroline. She’s SO the HBIC. Her husband got her a German shepherd to protect her while he’s at work, which is nice. That’s what my dog, Vinca, is for, but I think Cinnaman the Chihuahua is better at it.
Jacqueline’s daughter, Ashley, get’s her new car. They lay down the rules for her, but it’s not clear if she paid attention to the new rules.
Dina, Caroline, and Lexi go out to dinner, and Dina talks about how she doesn’t really want to continue in the business world. She feels that it interferes with her home life, and would rather stay at home. She prefers taking care of her daughter, husband, and cats. Whatever makes her happy, I always say.
okay. the moment we’ve all ben waiting for. THE DINNER!
Everything is chill. All the women are admiring Teresa’s boob job, in fact, Dina got Teresa some stuff from Victoria’s Secret. Teresa’s husband asks Caroline’s sons if their mother’s boobs are real. Hmm. Everyone is seated when Danielle and her daughters show up. Everone is friendly and whatever, and Teresa starts to act in her goofy way. They have oysters on ice (gross! my brother had them before!), and then eventually start talking about Teresa’s husband wanting to have sex with her as soon as she got her breasts done. Everyone is having a great time woot!
Suddenly, Danielle pulls out the book, Cop Without a Badge, so that they can talk about it. THE SHIT HITS THE FAN! I didn’t know that Teresa could speak Italian, because she says Look the book in Italian. I think that’s pretty cool.
Danielle basically says that the book is full of lies and that there are only two things in the book that are true: that she changed her name and that she was arrested. Teresa and Dina try to stop her, but Caroline tells them to let her speak and have her say. Caroline thought she had the right to explain herself. Danielle is actually pretty logical in her idea that she should finally get to say her piece. Caroline is pretty much the HBIC and asks all of the ladies to behave like adults.
Danielle explains that she did make mistakes, but she never did the things listed in the book. Also, she doesn’t want Dina to go spread it all throughout town. Danielle “sat at home alone throwing up with diarrhea” for three weeks because of Dina. Danielle says that Dina approached several people publicly about the book. HOWEVER (SPOILER WARNING!!!):
Caroline asks Danielle to, “Look at me. Because I’m the one that told them…I will not sit here and allow you to attack my sister when it is not true…You will not attack the people i love…Let me tell you something about my family: we are as thick as thieves…” Dina maintains that she did not spread anything about the book, and that Danielle spread lies about her, also, Caroline maintains that SHE told everyone about the book. Honestly, I pissed myself when I heard this. It was like the biggest surprise. Danielle believes that Caroline is lying to protect her sister, and Jacqueline is worrying about whether she should help her friend or go with her sister-in-laws.
Jacqueline is asked by Dina what happened, and Jacqueline says that she always knew that Dina did it, and that Dina and Caroline are lying. WHAT! So unexpected. Meanwhile, Jacqueline’s husband does not look happen. Dina calls Jacqueline two-faced.
Teresa bursts in and is wondering why Danielle’s ex-husband wrote the book. Danielle responds to Teresa as though she is stupid, and never really answers Teresa’s questions. Teresa calls her a stupid bitch and a prostitution whore, and has to be held back by her husband and friend, Dina. Teresa is a hot little tamale and throws a table at Danielle. She says, “Don’t think that I’m a little air-head and stupid, cause that pisses me off.”
Dina promises to pray for Danielle, and then Jacqueline’s husband steps in. He says that Danielle is welcome in his home and that the book is shit. He basically keeps the peace and is very polite and nice.
SO basically, THIS WAS FUCKING INSANE TO WATCH. Like, this little synopsis doesn’t really cover how insane it was. I was totes mcgotes surprised to hear that Caroline exposed the book, although, I’m a little surprised that Bravo doesn’t have any footage of Dina and Caroline talking about the book at the salon since they supposedly started spreading it around while the show was still taping. I think that if they did have the footage, they wanted to keep it hidden from Danielle so that the true person who exposed the book would be a big SURPRISE for the end of the season.
At the end of the day, I feel bad for Danielle and Jacqueline, but I also understand why Caroline would expose the book. Would I do it personally? I’m not sure. I would sure as hell tell my friends, but I’m not sure that I would expose it to my entire town. That probably wasn’t right. But, I still love Caroline, she’s still the HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE.
Signing out,
Alex
